art by Jonathan Westbrook
Dumb as Dirt
by Garth Upshaw
Zombies are stupid. Dumb as a box of rocks. Draw a line in the dirt and they'll go all glassy-eyed and follow it, shuffling along about two miles a day. "Gah, gah, gah."
Mom says, Don't Make Fun. Says, It's Not Nice. Says, It Could happen to Anyone.
But Gordy and I got 17 rotters following a big circle we drew around the old gas station. "Gah, gah, gah." A regular chorus.
Gordy cracked up. Said it was the funniest thing he'd seen his whole life. He ran to the pumps and fell in behind the last one in line--an old deadster, thirty or thirty-five when he turned, easy. Big hole in his side. Been a zombie a long time. Gordy shuffled forward. Said, look at me, Sam.