Failed Interview with the International Convocation of the Damned
by Luc Reid
Thank you for your application and for coming to interview with us this past Thursday midnight. While we appreciated your enthusiastic interest in vampirism, we regret that we cannot offer you an immortal existence as a cursed undead being at this time.
As you begged that we be completely candid should we have any concerns, I include here a few specifics as to why we did not deem your soul to be a good fit for our particular type of damnation.
First, while it was clear that you had put an admirable amount of thought into the moral implications of vampirism, we cannot condone your plan for subsisting "on the blood of the evildoer." I think you will appreciate, if you think on it for even a short while, that beings of our kind are not eager to embrace the kind of moral absolutism that brands certain individuals as "evildoers" and advocates their destruction. We prefer philosophies that are more enabling and broadminded, for instance predators as an essential part of the natural cycle of life, damned-if-you-do/damned-if-you-don't, and "everybody's gotta eat."