art by Tim Stewart
E is for Excrement
by Tim Pratt, Jenn Reese, Heather Shaw, Greg van Eekhout
The new human who has inherited me is but a child. He also lives in the New World, in a single room he calls his "dorm" with another boy near his own age. They imbibe more ale than they ought, and when they're in their cups they like to cajole me into drinking with them. I have tried, on more than one occasion, to convince them to open the iron bars of the birdcage in which I have lived now for centuries, but to date I have not succeeded. Previous generations thought to write out "Instructions for care of the MacAllister Family Fairy," the first of which is to never let said fairy out of the cage.