Careers for Magical Creatures: Goddess of Crimson Cosmetics Now Hiring
by Sarina Dorie
Tired of being a goody-two-shoes tooth fairy or toilet fairy and getting nowhere in your career for all of eternity? Maybe it's time for a career change.
Goddess of Crimson Cosmetics is looking for assets to our sales team. Our line of poisonous cosmetics has primarily been sold by little old women with hunched backs who lean on bamboo canes. We are branching out of our location in Japan and looking for innovative, young sales yokai to welcome to our team. No experience being a demon necessary.
Additions to our sales team need to be able to:
*Conduct makeup applications, skin care analysis, and product demonstration with human victims.
*Stay on top of current promotions, events and lethal ingredients.
*Build customer relationships--and quickly destroy them with a single poisonous cosmetic sale.
*Bring a cheerful disposition for selling beauty and death to mortals.
*Be able to do occasional heavy lifting of corpses.
What the Goddess of Crimson Cosmetics is looking for in our sales representatives:
*Ability to adhere to a professional dress code: tattered kimono, silver hair, straw umbrella hat, and a hag-like appearance. Bamboo cane optional.
*At least five years of experience working in a job that exercises verbal communication skills (examples include: banshees, werewolves, ghouls, madremonte, and used kidney salesmen or saleswomen).
*Ability to work nights and weekends.
*Powers of seduction, hypnotism, or persuasion.
*A passion for bringing harm to vain, materialistic mortals who buy our line of lethal makeup.