Careers for Magical Creatures: The Downward Spiral to Toilet Fairy
by Sarina Dorie
Toilet Fairies Inc. Now Hiring!
So you've tried every other occupation in the fairy realm and you've decided you pretty much suck at all of them. Or maybe you've tried tooth fairy and you keep spending the quarters at arcades, or you've worked as a grim reaper, but hate ferrying whiny souls across to the other side. Sure, there are correspondence schools out there run by Charming Industries, but many immortals aren't good test takers and there are few other opportunities for career advancement. Whatever your situation, here you are at a major crossroad in your existence. You have a few choices at this point.
Option A: Give Up Immortality
This would involve turning in all magic, leaving the fairy dimension where clouds are made of cotton candy, every day is filled with sparkling crystal castles, rainbows and blue skies, and you have the ability to fly free. If you choose humanity, it means your wings are chopped off, you leave behind friends, and you join the world of mortals. Hello, human diseases, wrinkles, and taxes. If you didn't excel in a fairy occupation after a thousand years, there's no guarantee you will excel as a mortal. One in three immortals who resort to mortality die within the first year.
The ones who survive the first year eventually die too. They are mortals, after all.
Option B: Become a Lower Worlder
If you don't want to give up magic and a tax-free lifestyle, and aren't ready for disease and death, your next option is to try one of the many occupations within the lower dimensions. Because Lower Worlders no longer work with cheery, goody-two-shoes fairy magic that comes from aiding humans, their career path causes them to exist in the darker, muckier energies that make up the spectrum of the fairy realm. The days are a constant gloom of darkness and the nights dismal, dreary, and filled with despair.