Dear Jezzy: Sleepless in the Underworld
by Sarina Dorie
The Lower Worlder Press, June 13, 1935
I really like bad boys. You know--the badass monster who wears a leather jacket and rides a motorcycle, but who is actually sensitive and misunderstood. Because I wanted to date a monster, I tried a vampire. I thought he would be a tough, dominating alpha male and endearingly chauvinistic.
All he ever wants to do is sit in his recliner and drink blood. He doesn't open doors for me. He doesn't have any powers of seduction. And he doesn't sparkle.