Ten Surefire Steps to Romance for the Workaholic Commuter Who Doesn't Make Time for His Social Life
by Sylvia Spruck Wrigley
*This public service video announcement was funded by MOAC and has been approved as "within limits for public posting" by the Union Public Transport System.*
1) Take the Commuter Honeycomb an hour early every morning. That gives you more time to meet people and you can always double-back on another segment. Enjoy the coffee bar on your way to work (but not too many espressos, they make you twitch). Have a crazy time at the Casablanca disco in the eastbound segment on the way home. The main thing is, have fun! It's a great way to get noticed.
2) Keep an eye on the hexagonal segments as they attach and detach. There's a soft tone before the glass barrier rises for the separation. You can tell which lounge you are in by the carpet color: the flecked cream carpet with rose lighting is the segment coming and going to Westend which could mean quite a catch. Mingle! But take care: if you end up on the wrong side of the barrier, you'll just have to wait for your lounge to attach to another Honeycomb cell heading back to your destination segment.
3) Skip the onboard fitness studio. Sweaty commuters are not sexy commuters. If you must train, be quick and be sure to shower! There's a public spa and shower area near the training room in every segment. If you install the transport app on your phone, it'll highlight the entertainment options for every segment heading towards your destination.
4) Don't use the transit headsets. You want to look interested and approachable; there's nothing worse than some strange guy bobbing along to music no one else can hear. How about using the official Honeycomb commuter dating app? It's trending on all the app stores and it'll tell you which segments currently have the most single people.