Congratulations on the Purchase of Your new Universe!
by Simon Kewin
Congratulations on the purchase of your new universe! Your SingUlarityTM is the product of entirely natural universe-formation processes within the greater multiverse, and has been carefully handpicked to offer you a literally infinite range of possibilities! And thanks to our patented CosmOSTM cosmological engineering technology, you now have complete freedom to establish the fundamental physical properties in your universe that you want to see.
Please take a few moments to read this quick-start guide, as mistakes in the formation of your cosmos cannot usually be rectified once the laws of physics have been established. In particular, please note that Multiversality® Inc. cannot be held responsible for the nature, character, content or arrangement of your creation. All universes are formed entirely at their owner's risk.
1. Set aside sufficient space in which to work. A void limitless in extent is ideal, as exponential inflation in the immediate aftermath of your BigBangTM means your universe will rapidly become quite large. Don't be fooled by the current size of your SingUlarityTM; remember that it has infinite density and that all the energy and mass required for the creation of an entire cosmos has been carefully packed into this single particle, ready for use.
2. Study the diagrams of the component parts of your new universe carefully before you start, playing close attention to their orientation and how they fit together. For instance, if the spin or electrical charge of your subatomic particles are placed the wrong way round, unfortunate side-effects may result, e.g. a universe that moves backwards through time, or that has exactly the same amount of matter and antimatter, resulting in its annihilation.
3. Pay particular attention to the values you assign to your fundamental physical forces, cosmological constants and equations. Many combinations will mean your universe won't survive very long, or may not even expand from its SingUlarityTM in the first place. Values assigned at random, while entertaining, have a very low chance of yielding a viable creation. It is perfectly possible to create a universe whose basic physical parameters mean that the development and evolution of complex physical structures (including organic life) is either impossible or extremely unlikely. Or, while organic biology may be possible in your new universe, it may be severely limited, e.g. by short life spans or an inability to attain the level of cultural sophistication required for the establishment of interstellar civilization.
4. Be careful not to spill anything on your SingUlarityTM as you prepare it, as this may introduce random effects in your universe that yield unknown consequences.