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art by Jonathan Westbrook

Coin Op

David is the head of Sustaining Engineering for his department at an engineering design firm in Minnesota. His fiction has appeared in many magazines: Escape Pod, AE, Bull Spec, Pseudopod, Drabblecast, and many others. This is his third story to appear in Daily Science Fiction. He edits the ezine Diabolical Plots which posts nonfiction articles related to the field of speculative fiction, including reviews of every single Daily Science Fiction story. You can visit (diabolicalplots.com) for his full bibliography. He is also the co-creator of the Submissions Grinder, an always-free writer's tool that provides a submission tracker and fiction market listings with response time statistics.
***Editor's Note: Adult Story with Mature themes***
The android reached for its tie. "Do you wish to begin? Ten cents."
Rhonda nodded. She'd never done anything like this, but her girlfriends had pooled five hundred dollars for her thirtieth birthday to send her here to the Orgasm Emporium to end a long dry spell. Or, to "break her jackass addiction," as they so eloquently put it.
The android stood for a long moment, processing her payment. And then untied its tie and tossed it aside.
"Do you wish to continue? Fifteen cents."
"Yes." She'd asked the shopkeeper which model was best for beginners. Without hesitation he'd recommended the PX 7100, an older model with a pay-as-you-go feature. You could stop it at any point and only pay for those services you'd received. She'd liked the sound of that, unsure if she would be able to go through with it.
Seventeen minutes and one hundred forty dollars later, it was down to its boxers. She'd stripped while she waited, which hadn't elicited any kind of reaction, to her disappointment.
She had to admit it had a gorgeous body, perfectly proportioned. Its underwear bulged with its artificial erection. Of course they couldn't make the androids too human. No one would pay for a droid that suffered from performance anxiety.
"Do you wish to continue? One hundred dollars."
"Yes."
"You waive the right to sue the Orgasm Emporium for indecent exposure?"
"Yes! That's what I'm here for!"
It finally pulled down its boxers, baring itself at last. Everything looked fully realistic, though the desire implied by its erect member clashed with the businesslike smile on its face.
"Branch. Please choose your preferred method of foreplay from the following list--"
She groaned. She'd been ready long minutes ago, from the anticipation alone. "Skip the foreplay."
"You understand foreplay is included in my base price? You will not be refunded."
"Yes!"
"Branch: Please choose your preferred method of intercourse--"
Unable to wait anymore, she pushed it back on the bed and filled its mouth with her tongue. Even its mouth felt realistic. She eased herself onto the android and began moving up and down. She pulled back from its mouth so she could draw more air.
"Your account has been charged five hundred dollars for vaginal intercourse. In addition, due to your rough treatment, your deposit will be withheld."
She ignored it, closing her eyes, to block out its bland expression.
"Releasing stimulants to enhance your experience." A sweet smell accompanied the announcement.
She could feel the orgasm approaching fast, and she quickened her pace, moaning. Just as she was on the edge, the feeling started to taper off, accompanied by a bitter scent.
"Do you wish to continue? One thousand five hundred dollars."
She grunted in annoyance--that was twice any of the upfront prices--and redoubled her efforts, but still nothing. The feeling was almost gone now. She felt almost numb.
"Two thousand dollars."
A part of her wanted to scream in outrage. But that part wasn't in control right now. She needed this, and she needed it now. "Yes! Yes!"
Sensation returned a hundredfold and she finished quickly. With a sigh of mingled pleasure with the climax and dread of the upcoming bill, she rolled over onto the bed.
"Five minutes recovery in this room are included in my price," it said, and with a twist of its wrist removed its phallus. It opened a hidden cabinet in the wall and dropped its erect member down a chute marked "Medical Waste." It bundled its clothes, apparently unconcerned with the exposed genital threads, and left without another word.
All in all, she thought as she pulled her clothes back on, she still liked it better than most of her ex-boyfriends.
The End
This story was first published on Thursday, February 21st, 2013


This story was inspired by the song "Coin-Operated Boy" by the Dresden Dolls, a very entertaining song about the virtues of a mechanical boy. The song mentions no negative traits of the titular boy, focusing only on his virtues like "automatic joy" and "rugged and long-lasting," and it is sexually suggestive in places. But when I think "coin-operated," I think of video game arcades and how annoying they can be--you're playing and having fun but you make one mistake and then suddenly you have to kick in more quarters if you want to continue. It seems to me that a coin-operated boy would be irritating, especially in bed, and found this an amusing idea.

- David Steffen

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