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Daily Science Fiction :: Real Reality(TM) Wants You! by Amy Sisson
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Real Reality(TM) Wants You!

Amy Sisson is a writer, reviewer, and former librarian living in Houston, Texas with her NASA husband, Paul Abell. Her short fiction has appeared in Strange Horizons, Lady Churchill's Rosebud Wristlet, and a number of licensed Star Trek anthologies from Pocket Books. In addition to books, she reviews ballet, opera, movies, and television on her blog at amysisson.com.
APPLICANTS WANTED!
Are you charismatic?
Are you entertaining?
Are you between the ages of 35 and 50?
APPLICATION INSTRUCTIONS
The following forty-page application must be completed in full and uploaded with an attached video file (MP5, WAV, RIFF, etc.) no more than two (2) minutes in duration. The video will become the property of the Producers and will not be returned, regardless of the outcome of the application. The Producers reserve the right to broadcast or otherwise use this video via television and the World Wide Web Broadcast Network(TM), regardless of the outcome of the application, without compensation to the applicant.
Family members (spouses, ex-spouses, siblings) are encouraged to file a joint application if both wish to compete. The Producers accept no liability for any changes in relationship status during or after the airing of the Program.
DEADLINE
Applications must be uploaded no later than January 20, 2016.
CONTENT
Tell us about yourself! There are no right or wrong things to say; we simply want to get to know you as a person. What will set you apart from the other applicants? Have you ever run for/held a public office? Why will you be entertaining? Why will our viewers vote for you both during and after the Program?
ELIGIBILITY REQUIREMENTS
1) As of January 20, 2016, you must be between thirty-five (35) and fifty (50) years of age.
2) You must be a natural born citizen of the United States. Further, as of January 20, 2016, you must have been a legal resident of the United States for at least fourteen (14) years.
3) Neither you nor any member of your family or anyone living in your household may be or may have been an employee or agent of the following within the last five (5) years:
(a) AB/NB/CBS, Inc.(R), the Prime Entertainment Television Network(R), or the World Wide Web Broadcast Network(R).
(b) Real Reality(TM) ("the Producers").
(c) Any person involved with the development, production, or distribution of this program ("the Program").
4) As of January 20, 2016, you must not currently be serving a prison sentence or have your activities restricted by legal probation or parole, including KeyCollars(TM), Anklets(TM), or other government-issued technological surveillance devices. (NOTE: Past convictions of crimes will not necessarily disqualify you if you have since fulfilled all retribution requirements; please see Appendix A for further information about your eligibility to compete and run if you have been convicted of a crime.)
PARTICIPATION
1) If you are selected as a contestant on the Program, you will be required to sign multiple waivers and release agreements (see FURTHER NOTES for additional information).
2) You will need to be available for production of the Program for approximately six weeks beginning on or about July 1, 2016. This date is subject to change at the Producers' discretion.
3) Every contestant will be required to live with the other contestants at a residence designated by the Producers for the duration of contestant's participation in the Program.
4) Contestants may be filmed at any hour of the day or night, whether or not actively participating at that time in an official competitive activity.
5) Contestants will participate in a variety of competitive activities, all of which will be filmed for potential broadcast as part of the Program, both individually and in teams as assigned by the Producers. Such activities may potentially include but are not limited to: athletic contests, intelligence contests, stunt activities, live broadcast performances (including but not limited to singing, dancing, and stand-up comedy), debates, road races, etc. The Producers reserve the right to introduce any competitive activity that it chooses, including activities not already specified herein. Please note that while dietary restrictions, including vegetarianism, will not preclude an applicant from being chosen to participate in the Program, such restrictions may impact a contestant's ability to effectively compete.
6) No contestant may reveal the outcome of any aspect of the Program until such time as given explicit permission by the Producers.
GRAND PRIZE
The Grand Prize Winner shall be the sole contestant remaining after all of the Program's elimination rounds. The respective winner during each episode, including the final episode, will be decided by Judges appointed by the Producers, viewer voting, or a combination thereof. All decisions are final.
The Grand Prize Winner shall receive the sum of ten million dollars ($10,000,000.00). Although the Producers cannot and will not attempt to place any restrictions on the manner in which this money is spent, suggested uses include: television campaign advertisements; legal and other advisory services, particularly in the filing of appropriate paperwork in those jurisdictions that require official candidacy declarations; advisors and consultants (none of whom may be associated with the Producers or any affiliates of the Program), etc.; and additional fundraising.
FURTHER NOTES
1) Potential contestants shall sign an agreement stipulating that should he or she become the Grand Prize Winner, he or she shall not make any statement (whether verbal, written, electronic, or in any other medium) to the effect that he or she no longer wishes to pursue the aims of the Program, until after such time as the General Election has occurred on November 8, 2016 and a Presidential winner has been declared.
2) Should the Grand Prize Winner of the Program subsequently win the Presidential election, it shall at that point be his or her choice whether to actually serve in that office. We note that forecasting algorithms have predicted that the Grand Prize Winner of "Who Wants to be a Write-In President?(TM)" has a forty-nine point seven percent (49.7%) chance of being elected to the Office of the President of the United States via write-in votes, with a two percent (2%) margin of error.
THANK YOU for your interest in Real Reality(TM)'s "Who Wants to be a Write-In President?(TM)" We look forward to reviewing your application!
The End
This story was first published on Tuesday, June 16th, 2015


I usually consider myself a positive person, focusing on things I like rather than things I dislike, but I have to admit that I truly dislike the way that reality shows have largely taken over the television medium, and I really dislike politics! Then it occurred to me that a competition show meant to select a presidential candidate doesn't seem that much more far-fetched than many of the reality show concepts we're seeing right now. In fact, I'm not even sure there would be a way to legally prevent it as long as the winner of the show met all other requirements for candidacy--although I imagine the folks who control elections with their money would try to get such a result thrown out. I think in a way, this story represents a post-traumatic stress reaction to the Bush-Gore hanging chad fiasco.

- Amy Sisson

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