art by Jason Stirret
Doctor was Madman, Family Man
by Paul Blonsky
Noted super villain and family man, Doctor Professor Putridor, succumbed Friday night at age seventy-two after a long struggle with the forces of justice.
Putridor was raised on a floating island in the Pacific by his maternal grandparents, the notorious husband and wife biological weapons threat known as The Exterminators. He spent his childhood, schooled in evildoing by his grandparents, off the coasts of New Zealand, Indonesia, Sri Lanka, and India, with summers spent in a hidden moon base.
After leaving the floating fortress and earning dual PhDs in physics and political science from Nefario University in 1968, the Doctor embarked upon his life's work of attempting to destroy and/or rule the planet. Though he frequently worked alone, he nurtured a fruitful collaboration with the Consortium of Evil in the mid-1970s and a long partnership with the noted necrologist Fleshwarp.
Fleshwarp, reminiscing on years of working with the Doctor, said, "He was brilliant and evil with an attention to detail underappreciated with so much corporate, wholesale wrongdoing around."
The Doctor, best known for his plot in the early 1980s to boil the oceans with space-based lasers, and the "Hamburg affair" that brought down three continental parliaments, was also a beloved lecturer at his alma mater. Colleagues recalled him arriving early for classes at the university's undisclosed location to entertain students and other faculty with tales of daring plots and narrow escapes from justice. Nefario University announced through their web site that his position as the Head of the Department of Chaos will be renamed the Putridor Maligned Chair in Chaos and Entropy.
Survivors include his wife, and former foe, Malfeasia (nee Justice Girl), and their two children, Menace and Terror. The family directed donations in lieu of WMDs to the Armageddon Project, a non-profit organization providing diabolical enrichment programs for evil-minded children of plutocrats, a cause with which Doctor Putridor was involved for many years. Services will be held Saturday at the Chapel of Eternal Suffering at the bottom of the Mariana Trench.
This story was first published on Wednesday, March 6th, 2013