by Bob McHugh
Admit it, the idea has occurred to you before. Maybe this entire world revolves around you. Maybe everything is an intricate illusion. Maybe you're the only actual person on a show about your life that the universe watches. You quickly dismiss the thoughts, never vocalizing them. Only sociopaths and narcissists would think such a thing.
That was Rick's idea. It's not egotistical at all to have those thoughts. They're right. The clues are all there. But Rick suggested that we make such a thought seem self-involved. We created platitudes about humility and instructed our craziest characters to articulate similar theories so that you would be ashamed of forming your own. Rick turned out to be right.
We even got so bold as to make a movie about the exact details of this lie, and you still didn't get it. We all had a good laugh about that one.
You've doubted yourself for other reasons, too. You think your life is boring. If someone was going to be the subject of a show that the universe watches, she'd be an astronaut or a heroic cop or a human cannonball or something, you've decided.
That one was Shirin's idea. Astronauts are boring. They just float around space all day. All of those cop and doctor shows that everyone but you seems to watch? No one watches them. We created them and created people to watch them to throw you off of our scent. Cops and doctors are boring, too.