The Haunted Snail
by Cat Rambo
The Snail ride was haunted from the beginning, and what made it worse was that it was the slowest ride in the entire amusement park: an hour and a half of crawling along the track.
The architect had meant it to be a clever postmodern play on a haunted house ride, a deconstructed, ironic ride experience and all that cleverness did, really, was to attract ghosts, who are always drawn by irony.
Strap yourself in and start trundling along the track. Within a few minutes you'd feel spectral fingers combing your hair, readjusting your collar, removing schmutz from your nose. Ghosts are as bad as grandmothers when it comes to grooming people.