Two lists discovered folded in the wallet of space explorer Jorge Finnegan after the Reliant wreckage was recovered from Tau Ceti e
by Sylvia Spruck Wrigley
Ten Reasons Why I Want to Go to Outer Space:
1) Amazing astronomy (no light pollution).
2) Never listen to another Lady Gaga single.
3) There are no aubergines in outer space.
4) Nor Brussels sprouts.
5) I would finally read every book on my Kindle.
6) Never again hear my neighbor [illegible] his bushes at 7am on a Sunday.
7) NASA-issued fuzzy socks.
8) Freeze-dried ice cream.
9) Be a part of the future.
10) Make history.
Ten Reasons Why You Shouldn't Go to Outer Space:
1) It's cold and dark.
2) You'll never find out who ends up with Westeros on Game of Thrones.
3) There are already cockroaches in space.
4) There's no macaroni and cheese. Not even any cheese at all. And no strawberries either.
5) No one else will think that the adorable way you snore is adorable when you are sharing with 15 bunkmates in the transport ship.
6) Lack of atmosphere is bad for your skin and hair.
7) Cold toes with no one to warm them. Fuzzy socks won't last past the first year.
8) Accidental encounters with black holes.
9) You'll miss the feel of warm grass between your toes on a sunny day.
10) Because you can't take me with you.
This story was first published on Tuesday, February 21st, 2017