We'll Always have Sybaris
by S. R. Algernon
Dear Customers of Quantum Polytemporal Interactive Dating (popularly known as qPid):
It has been our goal for over five years (meta-time) or five millennia (world-time) to provide you and your loved ones from whatever century with reliable service and to ensure a positive user experience across the timeline. Recently (in a five-dimensional sense), an uptick in complaints has put our support staff under considerable strain. Some of these reflect basic misunderstandings of our services. Others are, sadly, beyond our capacity to solve. So that we can continue to offer diachronic dating and chat, we ask your cooperation in reading and acknowledging the following guidelines before opening an account.
1) When in doubt, keep our motto in mind: "Love heals all wounds, but time conquers all."