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The princess stared at me in horror. "You've been thirty for how long?"
I tapped my magic wand against the layers of my fluffy gown, sending puffs of magic into the air. "I'm not sure. I lost count after a while. Probably about five hundred years."
"I'm so sorry. What a curse! To be middle-aged forever." Her eyes were pitying. It wasn't the sort of look you were supposed to get if you were a fairy godmother.
"Ahem, thirty is hardly middle-aged. Anyhow, let's get back to business." I forced a smile. "You were about to tell me about the prince you're in love with? The one your parents won't let you marry."
"Yes, yes. Prince Bruno. They say he's a beast--the kind that magically turns into a handsome man with the right woman's love."
I was about to tell her I had met the prince, and he would be a good match for her, but she went on. "Are you into bad boys, too? I know this evil wizard who cursed our crops last year. He's really cute, and he's probably in your age bracket."
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I crossed my arms. I didn't want to encourage this kind of matchmaking among my human clients. I redirected the conversation. "What do you mean by 'they say?' Do you mean you haven't met Prince Bruno? Do you think you're in love with a boy you've heard some fanciful rumors about?"
"Well," said the princess, tossing back her mane of golden hair. "I've read his profile in The Kingdom's Most Eligible Bachelors."
"Let's get a few things straight." I set my fists on my pink, tutu-like gown. "Prince Bruno is a kind, considerate man of noble birth and rank. He isn't a beast." I liked Bruno. He deserved someone nice, not some trend-obsessed snob.
She winked at me. "Oh, I get it. You're trying to tell me he's boring in bed." She shrugged. "He's also rich, isn't he? That will make up for any of his deficiencies."
"He's also one hundred percent human. He's not a frog prince, were-bear shifter, or any of that nonsense you read about in fairy-normal romances."
She gasped. "What? He doesn't even have a small curse? Maybe he turns into a monster once a month?"
I shook my head. It really was a pity she couldn't appreciate how normal, sweet, and non-magical Prince Bruno was.
"Well, that stinks! How am I supposed to end up with some handsome, charming monster man like all the other princesses if rumors can't be believed?"
"The grass is always greener on the other side. Do you know how many fairy godmothers would kill to date a normal, mortal man instead of being hit on by ogres or trolls who think they're all that and a castle of peasants?"
She gave me a quizzical look.
"How about I set you up with someone else on my list?" I asked. "I have loads of were-dragons, evil wizards of noble birth, and even an arrogant leprechaun king who just might be bad boy enough to make your friends jealous. If you don't like him, we'll try another."
"I suppose it won't hurt to hear about the leprechaun king. Is he endearingly chauvinistic?"
Princesses could be so silly. That's why I decided to save Prince Bruno for myself. After all, why should princesses have all the fun?
The End
This story was first published on Monday, April 25th, 2022
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