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What he omitted: "It works by fissioning the lead. Use without a radiation shield is ill-advised."
My next visit, I radiated fury.
He offered the Geologist's Stone (turns lead into gold ore; use sodium cyanide to purify), the Neurologist's Stone (makes lead look like gold), and the Virologist's Stone.
"It'll work," he said. "Or your money back."
That last stone is enclosed with this letter. I placed a small hex on the packaging, so it turns to lead after you finish this sentence.
Whatever made that man so confident, I hope you enjoy it.
The End
This story was first published on Tuesday, August 11th, 2020
Author Comments
This was inspired by the ecosystem of dingy little shops which sprung up around NYU, where I did my undergrad. Don't think any of them were renowned for their customer service....
- Arnav Sood
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