Careers for Magical Creatures: Correspondence School Quiz, Taken by Client
by Sarina Dorie
Becoming a fairy godmother or godfather and helping human heroes is a satisfying dream for many immortals that can become a reality for top students. Whether you are new to the occupation or wanting to return after being demoted to a lower occupation like tooth fairy, you will be required to have a clean work record for a hundred years, need three letters of recommendation, and must pass the final exam proctored in the fairy realm in order to be considered for an internship.
Each section of the correspondence course can be completed at the pace a student chooses, but tests must be completed within a hundred years of receiving the textbook.
After reading the textbook Fairy Godmother and Godfather Morals with Mortals, complete the following essay questions. Essays can be submitted online or mailed in.
Student ID #: TF789609
Test ID #: TF341.2
Sex: Often
1. You have two clients belonging to different noble families who decide to go to war with each other. How do you decide whom to aid?
A. A coin toss.
B. Help them both.
C. This is a trick question. You can only work for one noble family at a time.
D. None of the above.
2. Your client, Prince Charming, invites you into his chamber for a private drink. You:
A. Accept the invitation, but only drink tea if you are on duty.
B. Accept the invitation and drink Long Island iced tea if you are not on duty.
C. See no harm in this so long as you are professional and you both keep your clothes on.
D. None of the above.
3. After you have catered to your client for four years, she has decided to disown her family, change her name and give up her quest. Do you still have an obligation to her if she is no longer the client you originally took on?
A. Yes, but only if she still attends balls and wants to marry a prince.
B. Yes, a true hero is noble in more than mere name.
C. No, if a client's quest is forfeit, there is no reason to continue.
D. No, those princesses are a whiney bunch; the less of them there are, the better.
4. According to studies conducted by researchers using the Fairy Council's hall of records, humans descended from the Charming line possess important genetic traits that make them ten times more likely to:
A. Have foot fetishes.
B. Seduce their fairy godmothers.
C. Commit acts of heroic deeds.
D. All of the above.
5. A fairy godchild is asked to fill out an intake form because it helps his fairy godmother:
A. Know whether he is single.
B. Help determine what his quest is.
C. Understand his or her needs on a quest.
D. Both B and C.
6. Unexpectedly, the noble family you work with becomes divided over succession to the throne, and your clients seek violence toward each other. What should you do?
A. Help them negotiate.
B. Use magic to influence kindly behavior.
C. Go on vacation for a month until it is over to avoid interfering in human affairs.
D. Both B and C.
7. You have a secret crush on the prince you've set up your client to marry. You should:
A. Talk to a coworker about taking this client, so you won't be faced with temptation.
B. Go to a support group who will help you get over your morbid infatuation with humans.
C. Ask the prince for his phone number.
D. Both A and B.
8. A member of the Charming family and a poverty stricken hero are falling off a cliff into a pit of lava. As you zoom through the air, who do you save and why?
A. Your client because he is the hero you are assigned to.
B. Your client because the Charming already has a fairy godmother who is aiding him or her.
C. The Charming because fairy godmothers are sworn to protect this human bloodline.
D. The Charming if he noticed you at the ball and gave you his phone number.
9. The best way to avoid the temptation of falling for humans in the workplace is:
A. Bring a chaperone if you are planning on being alone with a client.
B. Wear a chastity belt.
C. Sew your wild oats after hours at Roman orgies, toga parties, and immortal only clubs.
D. Remind yourself that you might become a toilet fairy if you are caught.
E. All of the above.
10. The best way to discourage the advances of human clients who might fall in love with you is:
A. Use glamour to appear as an elderly woman.
B. Set firm boundaries and enforce these consistently.
C. Set firm boundaries and make sure those naughty princes know that if they cross them it's spanking time!
D. Both A and C.
Answer Key:
1. C
2. D
3. B
4. D
5. D
6. D
7. C
8. C
9. E
10. D
Score: 6/10 D
Instructor Comments: Student TF789609, you started off on the right track, but slowly declined in your answers, especially the ones related to godmother-godchild conduct. You're not showing a good fit for our occupation if all you can think about is dating a prince. Feel free to retake this quiz after more studying!
Fairy godmother correspondence school classes are administered by Charming Industries.
The End
This story was first published on Wednesday, July 6th, 2016
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