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Clickbait for Paranormals: Culinary Delights from the Were-Dog Blog--You Won't Believe What He Cooks Next

Sarina Dorie is the author of award-winning, YA paranormal romance novel, Silent Moon. Her Puritan and alien love story, Dawn of the Morning Star, is due to come this year with Wolfsinger Publications. She has sold over 80 short stories to markets like Daily Science Fiction, Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, Orson Scott Card's IGMS, Cosmos, and Sword and Laser. By day, Sarina is a public school art teacher, artist, belly dance performer and instructor, copy editor, fashion designer, event organizer, and probably a few other things. By night, she writes. As you might imagine, this leaves little time for sleep. You can find info about her short stories and novels on her website: sarinadorie.com.

Welcome to Were-Dog Blog: a site dedicated to politics, lifestyle and food of the were-culture. Written by Were_Dog82.
Blog Entry 52: Culinary Delights for Full Moon Midnight Snacks
Worried about your neighbors finding out about your "little secret?" Ever notice how your cravings for raw meat increase around your time of the month? The best way to avoid taking out the local troop of camping Girl Scouts is feasting on tasty treats to satiate your cravings for raw meat. Whether you are out of the closet and the world knows of your lycanthrope nature, or you are trying to keep a low profile, a balanced diet is vital to a were-creatures' temperament and ability to stay in control after changing.
Today's blog entry comes from the recent cookbook of culinary genius and fellow were-dog, Rufus Ray. He studied at the Institute of Canine Culinary Arts in Chicago and works at the elite and exclusive restaurant, Chow Wow in New York City. If you like these three tasty treats, you'll love other recipes in Treats from Chow Wow Cafe.
Appetizer: Salad Tartar
Salad Ingredients:
1 cup cooked crumbled bacon
1 cup chopped top sirloin (raw)
1 cup diced lamb chop (raw)
_ cup chopped pork roast (seared)
_ cup chopped liver (preferably from your worst enemy)
*lettuce (optional)
Dressing Ingredients:
_ cup chicken broth
_ cup soy sauce
2 Tb of Worchester sauce
1 tsp. melted butter
1. Layer various meats in a large bowl.
2. Crumble bacon on top.
3. In a separate dish, mix liquids.
4. Drizzle dressing over salad.
5. Garnish with a leaf of lettuce if desired.
6. Enjoy!
Serving Size: one.
Note: Save those bacon drippings for the next recipes.
Entree: Peanut Butter and Shrimp Biscuit
2 large dog biscuits
2 Tb peanut butter
3 Tb of shrimp
_ cup of bacon drippings
1. Food process shrimp with warm bacon drippings for five seconds or until the mixture resembles a course paste.
2. Spread shrimp mixture onto one large biscuit.
3. Spread peanut butter on the other biscuit.
4. Press together.
5. Enjoy!
Note: Pairs well with a big bowl of water. Garnish with cat poop if desired.
Dessert: Bacon split
1 cup cooked crumbled bacon
3 cups of pulled pork (cooked)
1 pork sausage cut lengthwise
3 Tb butter
2 Tb barbeque sauce
2 Tb sweet chili sauce
2 Tb bacon drippings
1 maraschino cherry--optional
1. Place three large scoops of pulled pork in a bowl.
2. Arrange sausage halves on the outside of the pulled pork scoops.
3. Drizzle chili sauce over one scoop of pork.
4. Drizzle barbeque sauce over second scoop of pork.
5. Drizzle bacon drippings over the last scoop.
6. Crumble bacon over the sauces.
7. Top with small scoops of butter.
8. Add a maraschino cherry if desired.
9. Enjoy!
Stay tuned for next week's blog on Were-Cats and Five Unexpected Uses for Catnip with guest blogger and lycanthrope extraordinaire, Kitty Galore! She'll also provide us with the hottest fashion choices for those with tails and share her recipes for Catnip Casseroles, Hippie Pot Pie, and Tuna Upside Down Cake.
The End
This story was first published on Wednesday, April 26th, 2017

Author Comments

My critique group read this and the comments I got were along the lines of "Eew," so I knew I had succeeded. Then people gave me even more disgusting suggestions. My mom always said too many cooks spoil the broth, but I think you can never have too many cooks in the kitchen when dogfood is involved.

- Sarina Dorie
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