Clickbait for Paranormals: Eleven Shocking Signs You May Be Troubled by Someone Eating Brains
by Sarina Dorie
Millions of people are affected by the excessive habits of someone close to them. The following questions are designed to help you decide whether or not you need to seek a support group like Zomb-Anon due to someone else's habits of eating brains, entrails or flesh.
1. Has exposure to an unusual virus, Voodoo or necromancy caused a change in someone you are close to?
2. Does someone you know comes home with bits of blood and gore on his or her clothes, shoes, and mouth?
3. Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else's dietary habits?
4. Have you ever been hurt or embarrassed by the behavior of someone trying to open your skull and suck out your brains?
5. Do you blame the brain eater's behavior on his or her zombie companions?
6. Are your plans frequently upset or canceled because you need to lock yourself up to ensure your brain isn't eaten?
7. Do you have financial problems because of someone else's obsession with eating flesh and entrails?
8. Do you feel that if the zombie loved you, he or she would stop eating humans to please you?
9. Do you make threats such as, "If you don't stop trying to eat my friends, I'll leave you?"
10. Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a bout of binge brain eating?
11. Are the holidays and gatherings spoiled because of someone trying to consume family members? Alternately, are the holidays better because someone tries to consume family members?
If you have answered yes to three or more of these questions, Zomb-Anon or Zombies Anonymous may be able to help. Try attending one of our sessions to meet others affected by brain-eaters.
The End
This story was first published on Wednesday, February 15th, 2017
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