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Improbable Meat

Marcus Vance lives on a lake with his family. You can follow him on Twitter @MarcusCVance. He writes fiction there daily.
"I couldn't give up meat because I like the flavor too much."
"Sure, livestock suffers. But it's the circle of life, ya know? We're designed to eat meat. Been doing it for hundreds of thousands of years. It's the taste that calls to us."
Sound like you? Are you concerned for the bounty of Earth? Want to protect it, preserve it, but also want to enjoy a delicious, savory, and juicy prime cut?
What if I told you that you could do both? That you could enjoy the flavor you love without the suffering of these simple mammals? What if I told you that you could get the same taste from plants?
Whoa, now. Hear us out. We're not talking crazy here.
In our on-ship labs we synthesize complex proteins from the finest Centaurian wheat and potato, and combine it with heme.
What's heme?
It's the molecule in blood that contributes to the savory meaty flavor found in all animals.
And we've grown vast amounts of this sumptuous molecule in plants.
When we add our patented spice blend, it's a taste you could never imagine.
A taste that you remember from your family barbecues light-years away.
A taste that you remember from the steak dinner you had after passing your Gli'f'li.
Save Earth.
Stop harvesting humans.
Eat Improbable Meat.
The End
This story was first published on Thursday, March 28th, 2019
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