10 Reasons Aliens Just Can't Get Enough of This Small West Virginia Town
by Shae Davidson
Nestled in the hills two hours south of Pittsburgh, the town of Pine Grove has been all abustle since the Visitation. Why do our new friends love this little corner of the Mountain State so much?
1. Main Street's many antique shops attract Rigellians who want to absorb memories without harming a living subject, as well as Andromedans in search of shiny spoon-like objects.
2. The Cowled Ones of Barnard 472 have mistaken a possum on Old Route 33 for their messiah.
3. Xeno-sociologists from the Flame Nebula are exploring the connection between Board of Education meetings and rituals of affliction, and their grad students just love the pancakes at Ren's Diner.
4. The balloon guy at Central School's spring carnival knows how to make the two-headed gakeni of Kaus.
5. The owners of the charming bed and breakfast on Meade Street don't ask awkward questions about Antarean interphasic conjugality.
6. Holding the number 5639 sacred, pilgrims from Chalawan often stop to meditate by signs giving Pine Grove's population.
7. The college chapel's bell reminds visitors from Hoag's Object of the transcendent chiming heard in the Royal Ice Forest.
8. Bookworms from Alpha Centauri love to search the area's beautiful fall foliage for shades of orange described by the poets of the Taysysyt Dynasty.
9. Small-town charm!
10. Pepperoni rolls are just the right temperature to incubate Jovian vapor grubs.
The End
This story was first published on Thursday, May 16th, 2019
