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Even a sentient virus sometimes needs to take up the quill. Except as a virus, Peter Schaefer must make do with the fingers of those hosts he takes, uploading short stories to catachresis.shoelesspetegames.com before the host shakes him off like water off a dog. This makes Peter's eighth story in Daily Science Fiction, to which he cries huzzah, at least until his latest host recovers its full health.
"Okay, so they don't murder as much as we wanted. But how could they reproduce so fast? We made them grow so slowly! And the process was so painful! Two of them had to... well, ugh."
"Yes, boss. But they do it. Like, a lot. And since they don't murder as much as we expected--"
"Yes, of course, Podboss Ffdlbpp. Too many to spray for. Ugh. Well, be damned if I'm going to live in a world infested by those things. We'll report to the pseudoqueen that the planet became unfit for habitation."
"Yes, Boss."
"C'mon," flagellaed Podsboss Pbbdlbsb. "I'll secrete you a drink."
"Thank you, Boss."
The End
This story was first published on Thursday, July 6th, 2017
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