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Cons of Time Travel

by A. Rector

"Time-traveling's cheap and easy. It's space-traveling that ain't.

"See, our molten mudball pirouettes around a star orbiting a galaxy hurtling who cares where. Go a day back in time, you slide along a single temporal thread, not the three dimensions. So 24 hours ago, the planet's 30 million miles thataway, and you're here feelin' silly in yesterday as the vacuum o' space sucks on your eyeballs. Can't move umpteen times FTL? Then time-travel's useless... for its intended purpose. Lucky for you, I'm resourceful.

"So, if you'll hand Bludger here your payment, rest assured no one will ever find that body."

The End

This story was first published on Thursday, December 2nd, 2021

Author Comments

Time-travel has a bunch of funky issues that fiction (understandably) doesn't address. We orbit the sun at 67,000 mph, and the sun orbits the Milky Way at ~360 miles per second, meaning we travel ~30,000,000+ miles a day and don't even have to leave the house! So this story was an attempt to find some use for "realistic" time-travel in roughly 100 words. Best I could come up with was illicit waste management.

- A. Rector

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