art by Shot Hot Design
A Gentlewoman's Guide to Time Travel
by Alice M. Roelke
Pack extra unmentionables. In the future, many women clothe themselves scantily. It is impossible to get a proper foundation garment; most clothiers have no knowledge of whalebone corsets or bustles.
Stay in the prescribed routes. Certain areas of the future are safe for time travelers because the natives try to preserve history by pretending it is the past. Here, travelers can blend into the future with the least discomfort.
Stay in groups. Beware sudden shocks from the scrofulous morals of the future. Stay near your tour group and be certain several of your number keep smelling salts handy.
Do not try to get in touch with your descendants. It can be most disconcerting! A respectable lady once discovered that her great-grandson will become a musician of unmentionable variety.
Above all, learn something. Mr. Wells' machine offers us a unique opportunity. If we can't learn from the future, we are destined to become it!
The End
This story was first published on Thursday, August 11th, 2011
